36 Simon Communities of Ireland means that he will lose his power of speech. Things a number of interviewees said they would like before they died included ‘making peace with their children’, making contact with their family’, ‘meeting/getting to know their grandchildren’ and ‘cooking a meal for themselves and others’. The majority of interviewees had not spoken about death or dying to anyone. A few said that they had tried to bring the subject up with others and with the staff around them to get their views but that other peoples response generally was to change the subject and to tell them ‘ not to be so maudlin’. One of the things the vast majority of interviewees were concerned about was where they might die. Most expressed a very strong desire to die where they were living and failing that, in hospital. Some interviewees had hoped ‘when they were younger’ that their siblings might have been able to care for them if they were dying; all had now realised that just as they had aged so had their siblings and they were no longer in a position to take on that role. Transfer to a nursing home was ‘for many interviewees’ the thing they feared most. Some spoke about how they had been in institutions when they were young and how they could not bear to be sent to one at the end of their lives. Others had worked in nursing homes and institutions and had observed older people not being treated very well when they had no one to speak up for them. GARRET Garret grew up in the west of Ireland speaking Irish so when his family moved to the north of England he had to do a crash course in English. Garret left school at 15 and got a job as a machinist. With money in his pocket for the first time this was when he began drinking. When he was 17 Garrett moved to London and lived with his sister. He always had work. Often the work was tough, laying tarmac or pipes and his relaxation was watching sports, drinking and a few bets. Garrett was sometimes lucky with his gambling and would win enough money to be able to afford not to work for a while. It was during one of these breaks from work that he met the woman he described as the love of his life. Meeting her led to him settling down but it did not last very long as she died of cancer only a few years later. He was devastated, eventually returning to Ireland to try and move on. Garret eventually found his way to his current location where he slept rough for a while. With the help of a local man he got into a Simon house in the city which he liked. When Garret’s health was better he used to go to the football, the dogs and even the cinema with friends, many of whom are now dead. He also used to walk a lot to go to mass, the coffee shop and the betting shop. Heavy drinking from a young age has taken its toll on Garret’s heart. He is now on a lot of medication and has had at least one heart attack and three strokes; he also has cirrhosis of the liver and is unsteady on his feet. He worries that he will have to move out of where he lives because the stairs are getting difficult and he has already fallen. Garret thinks about dying particularly when he is not well… but he says it does not worry him too much as he knows there is an afterlife. Interviewees generally wanted to die in their sleep, they did not want to die alone. For those who were estranged from their family, they wondered who would be there when they were dying; most interviewees in this situation hoped they would ‘go to sleep and not wake up’. A particular concern for the interviewees who lived alone was that they would die alone and their body not be found for weeks. Things that gave the interviewees comfort when they thought about their death included the thought that they might meet their deceased family and partners, prayer (some interviewees had strong devotions to particular saints) and the presence of religious icons (e.g. pictures of the sacred heart). Some people ‘when they spoke of dying and death’ brought up the subject of their next of kin. For most interviewees their next of kin was generally a sibling, for a small number their next of kin was a son or daughter.
Homelessness, Ageing and Dying
To see the actual publication please follow the link above